life experiences

I just read a blog that touched my heart. It's written by a girl, so it has a girl's point of view. I translate:

every relationship that ends in a break-up, changes the girl's personality a little. Either she becomes crazy, liberal, or democrat. Although the girl may comes back to "normal", there's something in her that made her different than before. The wound is too deep and makes a scar that will make her not as before

That's really a grim way to look at life experiences. In this particular case, love.

Life brings many experiences, both good and bad. Bad life experience can give you a deep wound. It could be love, friendship, religious, politics; you name it.

There was a time when I felt betrayed by many of my close friends. They didn't care whether I live or die. That gave me a really deep wound and for a while, I'm very cautious about making friends. But I realized that I have the power to learn from that bad experience. Instead of letting that bad experience hurting me, I could become wiser and more understanding. Although it's not easy, I do have that option, I'm taking it, and I'm still learning from it.
There was another time where I was really hurt by a girl. I had a grim look at love for quite a long while. But I'm learning from that too.

As long as we have our memories, the scar that life gives will always leave a mark. However, that scar mark doesn't have to hurt. It can help us to become more mature, wiser, and more gentle towards others. On the other side, it can also make us pessimistic, cynical, and cold toward others. We have a choice. One is harder than the other. In this case, the road less traveled is harder but bears more fruit.

I learned from my bad experiences that life pain, especially when it's close to you, really hurts. Learning from that, I do not want others to experience these pains. But if they do, I want them to know that they have options. And when they take the more difficult option, they could be a better person. It's hard, but it's not impossible. And if you're a Christian, I'm sure you've learned that you can learn about love through pain and suffering.

I do not want to make this blog to be too long. But for whatever its worth, I hope this helps others.

Act Your Own Age

What does that mean? "Act your own age?"

Some people take this sentence too far. As you get older, you're expected to be boring. If you make a joke to someone in a younger age bracket, you're considered immature. Notice I said age bracket because everyone has their own age bracket. Each person has their own perspective.

My parents like to go to Dave & Buster. It's surprising to some people because they do not expect people in my parents age bracket to like playing games.
So what if my parents like to play games? They're still a mature couple. They're responsible, understanding, wise, and gentle. And, they like to play games at D&B.

Going back to the joke, have you ever listend to your parents when they hang out with their friends? They joke the same jokes that we do and their friends too! Just because they're saying jokes to their peer in age, it's ok. But, when the jokes goes to younger bracket, it's not ok. Duh!

Same thing, when you joke with the so called younger bracket, then you're immature. People expect you to be boring when you're older (than them).
If you hang out with much younger crowd, then you're immature. Even though you're a responsible, etc..etc.. everything else that comes with maturity.

This extreme "act your own age" is a lot more in Indonesian culture than in American culture. Just because my friend is 50 yrs old, doesn't mean I can't hang out with him/her. If we clicked, then we clicked. End of story.

Same thing with dating. If you clicked, then go for it. My sister and her husband are in different age bracket to most people. But they're a good match. So what?

Of course there's a certain age when a person is just too young. Not old enough to be held responsible for their act. To make it easy, our gov't decided on the magic number 18. That's the law. If you break it, then you're not mature enough to know not too. It's not about boring vs fun anymore. It's about responsibility and being a good citizen. When you break the law, you're not being a responsible person. Now that's immature. (Unless it's something like what Rosa Parks did but I digress)

I like to have fun. When I'm 40 and I feel like going to clubbing, I will go clubbing. And some will think I'm immature because I go clubbing when I'm 40. So what if I like to dance? I will go to D&B and play Dance Dance Revolution as long as I can still move my feet that fast! I don't neglect my responsibility, I'm being a good citizen, I don't neglect my duties/jobs/health/etc. I just like to have fun.

The reverse is also true. I don't have to drink and smoke to make me a mature adult.

Time Crisis 26 (or whatever version they have when I'm 60) here I come!!!